blame it on the weatherman

yeah, i've had b*witched in my head all week (except for yesterday when all i had going through my head all afternoon was the goodbye song for my tafe playsession). i should feel ashamed at being able recall so many of the lyrics.

it's week 5 of tafe, and i'm starting to feel a little snowed under. most of my assessments are in-class or in-playsession, which is actually kind of fortunate because i have 26 hours of tafe a week, going up to 27 for the last four weeks. that doesn't the 8-10 hours a week i spend travelling to and from tafe, or the lunch break hours in-between. two days a week i'm only there for 4 hours, but the other three are 7.5-8 hours. and yet we still only get 5 observatory playsessions and 5 interactive (i.e. in the room with the families) before ALL our playsession assessments are due. it's not enough time. and i can't remember things i hear, i remember things i read or write; how am i expected to remember all of my interactions for the worksheets? and i have to write up a role play for my pwe class today so the others in my group can look over it. and i know everything will get worse later, but i don't really want to start my case study yet. *sigh* i give up.

in other news, i think two girls in my immediate friendship group don't like me. as in, one of them got really angry at me on friday and neither of them have spoken more than two words to me since. actually, the one i had the 'heated discussion' with (it wasn't an argument, per se, since i wasn't trying to convince her of anything, just get my view across) didn't really speak to me much before that. sufficed to say, she and i don't see eye to eye on the homosexuality issue (re: saturday night's gay & lesbian mardi gras in sydney) and she thinks that i'm "a complete and utter dickhead" for thinking the way i do. i had no expectation for anyone to agree with me on the matter, and they didn't, but i wasn't expecting my personal view to be so firmly shot down. if others can have their opinions valued, why can't mine? my viewson it and the mainstream are in very different; but it's two forces in opposition to each other, not me bashing down on them. in hindsight i should have expected this blowout sooner, but i'd almost gotten to thinking that she respected others' views. i really should have picked up on the way she always pushes her worldview (on ANYTHING, including the number of eggs you should eat weekly) as the only or most valid.

basically, if i don't want her to get in a huff again, i have to be nice to her and try to understand her views. maybe she'll eventually talk to me again. i'm just afraid that the constant tension will wear down myself and my other group members in the meantime. i have enough to worry about without being afraid of my 'friends'.

i was lucky on saturday, though: i met an old schoolfriend, catherine, at a red cross orientation talk on saturday morning and we hung out and shopped til late afternoon, and caught up on each other. it was a pleasant end to an unpleasant couple of days.

also had dinner at pancakes on the rocks for tina's party later that evening, and i even got to duck into the mca beforehand. it was great seeing so many friends again, even if not everyone was there. i especially liked seeing zheng, who's been away in china for four months. i've missed everyone so much.

absence makes the heart grow fonder

or not. at any rate it's been a while; though i don't know what to say. um, i'm starting tafe next week. i have a job, of sorts. oh, and i'm just starting to recover from my worst asthma attack in recent memory.

seriously, so sick. last night i was having so much trouble breathing that i had to focus hard to say words clearly and audibly. i'm a bit better this morning; the prednisone is starting to kick in and i get to take more disgusting anti-inflammatories this afternoon. i'd be less eager for the foul drugs if my lungs weren't stretched so tight.

and yeah, tafe. i privately don't think my year off from study has increased my fervour for homework and, heavens above, time management, but at least i have a tangible goal and practical applications for my study, and this time around i'm not just doing it because. here's hoping.

i just hope i can handle it; late classes and no source of income during term and homework, gah, the thought repulses me. i'm still so tired, i couldn't keep my eyes open for anything yesterday but lying down hurt to breathe and made me cough from congestion which hurt my back, which, by the by, i pulled badly the other morning leaning over the sink to expel said congestion from my chest. yes, yuck, but ow.

i kind of feel like a gigantic bundle of hurt and gross, but in three hours i can take some more drugs, and hopefully i'll be better by next week.