blame it on the weatherman

yeah, i've had b*witched in my head all week (except for yesterday when all i had going through my head all afternoon was the goodbye song for my tafe playsession). i should feel ashamed at being able recall so many of the lyrics.

it's week 5 of tafe, and i'm starting to feel a little snowed under. most of my assessments are in-class or in-playsession, which is actually kind of fortunate because i have 26 hours of tafe a week, going up to 27 for the last four weeks. that doesn't the 8-10 hours a week i spend travelling to and from tafe, or the lunch break hours in-between. two days a week i'm only there for 4 hours, but the other three are 7.5-8 hours. and yet we still only get 5 observatory playsessions and 5 interactive (i.e. in the room with the families) before ALL our playsession assessments are due. it's not enough time. and i can't remember things i hear, i remember things i read or write; how am i expected to remember all of my interactions for the worksheets? and i have to write up a role play for my pwe class today so the others in my group can look over it. and i know everything will get worse later, but i don't really want to start my case study yet. *sigh* i give up.

in other news, i think two girls in my immediate friendship group don't like me. as in, one of them got really angry at me on friday and neither of them have spoken more than two words to me since. actually, the one i had the 'heated discussion' with (it wasn't an argument, per se, since i wasn't trying to convince her of anything, just get my view across) didn't really speak to me much before that. sufficed to say, she and i don't see eye to eye on the homosexuality issue (re: saturday night's gay & lesbian mardi gras in sydney) and she thinks that i'm "a complete and utter dickhead" for thinking the way i do. i had no expectation for anyone to agree with me on the matter, and they didn't, but i wasn't expecting my personal view to be so firmly shot down. if others can have their opinions valued, why can't mine? my viewson it and the mainstream are in very different; but it's two forces in opposition to each other, not me bashing down on them. in hindsight i should have expected this blowout sooner, but i'd almost gotten to thinking that she respected others' views. i really should have picked up on the way she always pushes her worldview (on ANYTHING, including the number of eggs you should eat weekly) as the only or most valid.

basically, if i don't want her to get in a huff again, i have to be nice to her and try to understand her views. maybe she'll eventually talk to me again. i'm just afraid that the constant tension will wear down myself and my other group members in the meantime. i have enough to worry about without being afraid of my 'friends'.

i was lucky on saturday, though: i met an old schoolfriend, catherine, at a red cross orientation talk on saturday morning and we hung out and shopped til late afternoon, and caught up on each other. it was a pleasant end to an unpleasant couple of days.

also had dinner at pancakes on the rocks for tina's party later that evening, and i even got to duck into the mca beforehand. it was great seeing so many friends again, even if not everyone was there. i especially liked seeing zheng, who's been away in china for four months. i've missed everyone so much.

absence makes the heart grow fonder

or not. at any rate it's been a while; though i don't know what to say. um, i'm starting tafe next week. i have a job, of sorts. oh, and i'm just starting to recover from my worst asthma attack in recent memory.

seriously, so sick. last night i was having so much trouble breathing that i had to focus hard to say words clearly and audibly. i'm a bit better this morning; the prednisone is starting to kick in and i get to take more disgusting anti-inflammatories this afternoon. i'd be less eager for the foul drugs if my lungs weren't stretched so tight.

and yeah, tafe. i privately don't think my year off from study has increased my fervour for homework and, heavens above, time management, but at least i have a tangible goal and practical applications for my study, and this time around i'm not just doing it because. here's hoping.

i just hope i can handle it; late classes and no source of income during term and homework, gah, the thought repulses me. i'm still so tired, i couldn't keep my eyes open for anything yesterday but lying down hurt to breathe and made me cough from congestion which hurt my back, which, by the by, i pulled badly the other morning leaning over the sink to expel said congestion from my chest. yes, yuck, but ow.

i kind of feel like a gigantic bundle of hurt and gross, but in three hours i can take some more drugs, and hopefully i'll be better by next week.

'send in the probe'

good thing i didn't make any foolish promises of frequent updates; though it's pretty sad, considering i haven't really been doing anything lately. at all.

quick run-down of the last month (in no order whatsoever):
tropfest - well, that rocked, despite being rained-out. i haven't been that wet since high scool (oh, the funny). the films rocked, there was scandal of cheating, blahblahblah.
tina's party - finished watching tropfest films. didn't play tennis (which we were apparently going to), but there was pass-the-parcel in which i got an asian toothbrush AND a dick tracy dvd. go me.
zheng's party - cards, dress-ups, eyetoy (can i just say how much this game rocked? *arms wide* this much), and my very first hot pot. s'all good.
jarhead - t'was good. lacking a climax, but hey, so was brokeback, and i enjoyed that. gyllenhaal + gay connotations = good movie, apparently.

found a majorly old episode of stargate the other week, 'the broca divide' (season one, ep 5) whilst on a hunt for the stargate movie. just to say, i have to correct my earlier statement (to anita) that there were two kisses between sam and jack during 8 seasons: there are at least three (if you count her attempt to maul his face only one kiss). also, found the stargate movie today. tape 148. gotta remember that. (yes, 148 is an old tape; i think we're in the 300s right now. and we do tape over things.)

now, i thought james spader was a really cool nerd/geek. wait, hear me out. i don't mean, he was cool to anyone around him, i just mean i was impressed by him. best scene in the film: daniel back-talking re/ra (spell it how you like, i prefer 're', as in 'amun-re', still pronounced 'rah') in egyptian-speak. that was rockin'.

and now feel despair at the realisation that, since season 9 is only just finishing in the states now, we're still going to have to wait at least another year or so for it to reach our forgotten shores. yes, the horror. *still, squees for daniel as he achieves in 14 days what they couldn't do in two years.* i hope the 'beginning of stargate' note on that tape wasn't in error, cos i'm hankerin' for some abydos-daniel.

all the friends are starting uni right about now, and, yeah, i'm feeling lonely. also considering doing uni next year. oh, the horror. but, yeah, since i didn't defer (which i suppose would have been the easy way out) i'll have to take the stat test this oct/nov. and apply to uws (since all other unis bar southern cross require 20/21-years for that sort of application). yeah, i'm actually considering arts, majoring in asian studies. if i work at it, i can probably transfer to usyd, uts or anu for a related course after first year. and, yes, i am actually capable of working at something, i just haven't bothered much in recent years. and anu is currently on the top of my list, as of the more specific asian-studies courses down there, but any decision like that is 1 and 3/4 years away. right now, priority is get a job, and later, do stat test. (the multiple choice will be a cinch, as multiple choice is my specialty. i managed to multiple-guess my way to a hd in chemistry comp in year 10, i think i'll be fine. long-answer is the more concerning, as i'm crap at formulating compositions within a time-limit, and i've heard interesting things about the questions/prompts they give you.)

now to see if 'crusade' is up yet.

your call is important to us

so i had my trial today at nick's; sean will get back to me on 'monday or tuesday; probably tuesday', and i have the meantime to find out if all tafe courses are closed or if late enrolment is an option. and now i'm undecided as to whether or not i want it.

the travel (walk to hurstville station, train to bondi junction then bus to bondi beach, walk halfway up beach to pavilion) was daunting, and the unlikeliness as to having all sunday mornings off was a setback, but really: since when have i cared about distance or getting up early/going to bed late (i used to get up at 5.30 on schooldays. to get to kogarah), and this is an apprenticeship. in chef-ing. there was never much likelihood of getting good hours.

and everyone's so nice. yes, i was new (and i haven't seen any female chefs yet... so possibly they were just being nice to me because i'm a girl. and look 12 years old), and it was pretty quiet, and i only worked 4 and a bit hours (mostly peeling and dicing apples, but roy the pastry chef was grateful), but it was fun. i like it. and i think i want to go back.

but i'd probably have to do tafe, hence the finding out if courses are closed. technically i've only missed 2 days thus far (1 day a week), so it's possible. called tafe just now, but was put on hold, and i hate hold (plus a thunderstorm is starting here), so i'll call tomorrow. because if i'm offered the position (there are 4 more people being trialed, the last on sunday; sean will pick 2 or 3; callem (sp?) is already an apprentice, having been there just two weeks) i'm guessing sean will want a definite answer fairly immediately. he seems like that kind of guy. so i'll have to be ready. to say yes or no. or just get rejected.

anyway, i need a hair cut. my hair is getting too hard to tie in a bun (in which case it hurts my head a bit anyway) and a disaster waiting to happen when it's not. so i need ailee or kathy or shayna or someone with enough guts to cut my hair to do it. i don't trust hairdressers. the last (only) one didn't layer it properly.

also, my concession card runs out at the end of march, and i'm supposed to hand it back upon getting a full-time job anywho, so travel will cost even more. =P

yeah. plus organising sga day. *sigh*

burn the land and boil the sea

partied at tara's on saturday night, after the debacle of actually trying to get there on a day when the illwarra line isn't running trains... and when the ticket sellers don't realise sydenham isn't running trains to padstow. all in all, though, fun. 'twas hot, though, so hopefully next time there's a gathering at tara's i can get in the pool. damn femine-ness.

yes, despite poor nandini's fears, i did enjoy my night, even if i was knackered for the next day. it would've been alright if i just had sunday school the next morning, but then we rushed off to grandma's flat (top floor, hot day, made hotter by her delicious but room-heating baked dinner). there, i tried sleeping in a very awkward position with my arms stretched over ally's books and bag, but after a half-hour snooze, her phone rang and i woke up. and was kicked off the couch by erin, who stretched out to sleep. and i didn't even have anywhere to sit, with mum on the other couch! (nan's carpet is kind of old and gross, with dog hair all over it, so we don't sit on it, or go bare feet.) fortunately got in a shower before church, then rushed off to do welcoming, went out to supper (by that stage i was over-tired, anyway) and went home.

also, had an interview today with sean from nick's beach restaurant. my feet hurt. from walking from bondi junction to halfway up bondi beach. yes, i could have caught the bus, but i hate buses and i wanted to know how far it was. the answer: too far. i'm catching the bus tomorrow. i was late, as well. =P great first impression, i'm sure. so my interview was very short, any way. and my feet hurt. and it took forever to get home. (even if i got the place, i don't know if i'd want it, since it's so far.) also, sean said that most places want you to do a day of tafe a week. but anders at hilton didn't seem to care about that at all. and tafe enrolments are done, the term has started. which means i'd have to wait until semester 2 to get in. and possibly to get an apprenticeship.

so i'm thinking maybe just do general hospitality work til then. apparently the kitchen at moore college (where several of my friends attend - christian theological college, for those not in the know) need a kitchenhand. if i got it, i'd be working with steven cartwright, who is the brother of a guy at my church, and also cooked for us at my first year of mission. he's cool. haven't seen chef in ages.

so, yeah. still nowhere. but at least if i do this gig tomorrow i can say i've been in a kitchen. that's handy.

ugh. brain freeze. and feet hurt. done.

'we can name it later'

just finished the first season of stargate atlantis. i really really need the second season. right now. but i'll settle for the scripts.

or, the _stargate: sg1 - the alliance_ game on xbox or pc. except it looks like it won't end up coming out now!!!
http://xbox.ign.com/articles/683/683057p1.html
so not fair! they can't bicker like this! think of the fans, we need our sg crack. bitter rivalry like this only hurts the fans.

also, i need early stargate like i need sleep (being that i need a whole lot more of it but ain't getting it). and the movie. that movie just *guh*. need.

i also need anita or someone to let me know how to get to tara's place.

oh, ennis, you sly dog

saw brokeback mountain today. yarr! it was good, sort of; it succeeded in reducing me to tears, at least (says the woman who cried at the end of the tigger movie and the sixth sense). i'm not really into the whole gay thing, seeing as i believe it's a sin (if anyone read this blog, i imagine i'd be flamed to a crisp at this point), but both jake and heath were very cute. seriously, they have two of the cutest smiles in hollywood. hadn't read the short story, so i wasn't quite prepare for the ending (i try not to guess what's going to happen, though it was probably inevitable). mary cried as well, and she even knew what was going to happen. also i now know where the hilton is,

which is useful, since i have an interview there tomorrow. yes! how exciting. i'm terribly nervous, especially since i didn't get down the name of the guy who called me up to arrange it. he had a very heavy accent, and a non-anglocised (anglicised?) name, so i sort of got the gist of it and figured i'd get it upon meeting him, where i could hear him clearer. only i'm supposed to ask for him at the front desk tomorrow. woe. so i called the hilton when i got home this evening (and worked up my courage), was put through to michelle in human resources, who wasn't available. so i'm hoping she'll call me back tomorrow morning or something.

and i bought clothes today, seeing as i needed a new shirt, and then just got bored whilst waiting for 12:30. shame. i have virtually no money. and i left my purchases in ali baba for several minutes before rushing back. the couple who we'd been sitting next to were sufficiently amused. i need to take better care of my things.